If You’ve Achieved Success, Read This Before Coaching Your Child!

How to Shift from Moderate to Exceptional Success

If you are ambitious, hardworking, and competitive, you may find that you've achieved a moderate level of success in your endeavors. This is commendable, yet the journey doesn't end here. There’s always room for more, especially in how you nurture the potential of the next generation. One intriguing perspective comes from a renowned Japanese mental coach, Fumio Nishida, who led a female softball team to Beijing Olympic gold. He emphasizes "The spirit of challenge" is what will drive you to success.

So I, a parent of a successful daughter, believe that while parents often take on the role of practical coaches, they should first serve as mental coaches to fully maximize their children’s success.

The Importance of Belief in Achieving Exceptional Success

According to Nishida, across various fields, those who achieve exceptional success often share two common beliefs : they have faith in their future capabilities. Nishida's insights reveal that these exceptional achievers also believe they are slightly better than average, and this belief propels them towards their ambitions.

As a parent, fostering this kind of mindset in your child can be incredibly beneficial. If you, as a parent, believe that your child has what it takes to perform exceptionally, you are instilling a sense of self-efficacy. In turn, this can bolster their confidence, encouraging them to strive for greatness while viewing challenges as opportunities for growth.

Be a Mental Coach Before a Practical One

Before jumping into practical coaching—which often involves direct training, hiring tutors, method instruction, and logistical planning—consider first empowering your child mentally. Nishida affirms that everyone has the capability to succeed. In fact, he famously states that anyone who can ride a bicycle possesses the basic skills needed to excel.

So how can you, as a parent, transition to this mental coaching role? Begin by encouraging an environment where challenges are welcomed and mistakes are viewed as learning opportunities. When you were a child, you fell many times while trying to ride a bicycle and got hurt. Do you remember practicing riding a bicycle while wobbly without the training wheels?

Nishida says that, just like learning to ride a bike, achieving exceptional success means eventually taking off the training wheels. For your child to do that, they need you to believe in their dreams and help them picture what success could really look like. If you’re wondering how to support that kind of realistic visualization, my previous post might give you some helpful ideas.

Please remember—your attitude and approach truly matter. For a long time, I believed that a moderately ranked university would be just fine for my daughter, since she didn’t seem interested in studying. But one day, to my surprise, she told me she wanted to apply to a highly competitive, top-ranking university. At first, I was confused. How could I support her in such an ambitious goal when she hadn’t shown much interest in academics?

But then, something shifted. Her dream was clear and strong—and that clarity was a gift. It made me realize that the most important thing I could do was believe in her. So I did. I believed in her, and I believed in myself as her supporter. And the result? She made it.

In conclusion, if you’ve already achieved a certain level of success, it’s natural to want your child to follow a similar path—working hard, aiming high, and staying competitive. But sometimes, children dream even bigger than we did. And if you want to help your child take that leap from “just enough” to truly exceptional, it’s worth taking a moment to reflect on your own coaching style. Your support, belief, and approach can make all the difference. You can play a pivotal role in shaping their belief in themselves, serving first as a mental coach. By nurturing their self-belief and guiding them towards challenge spirit mindset, you empower them to chase their ambitions with resilience—setting them on a path towards remarkable achievements.