Why Parents Like Drama : The Hidden Reason Parents Snap

Why Do Parents Yell? A Look Into Emotions

We’ve all seen it—a parent yelling in the street, overwhelmed and emotional. It’s easy to judge, but if you’ve ever raised a child, you know how parenting can stir up something deep inside us. Why is it that parents often become so emotional?

Here’s my thought: parenting naturally requires instinct. When breastfeeding or responding to a baby’s cry, for example, we rely on built-in, intuitive responses. But over time, many of us begin to confuse instinct with emotion.

Emotions vs. Instincts: What’s the Difference?

Psychotherapist Dr. Afshan Mohamedali offers an insightful distinction:

“When we have a strong relationship with ourselves and our feeling states, we can use emotions as instincts.”

This sounds empowering—and it is. But it also means that if we don’t have that strong relationship with our inner world, we may end up misusing emotions in place of instinct. That’s when parenting becomes dramatic. We might feel justified in yelling or reacting sharply, thinking it’s part of our natural role. But instinct and emotion aren’t the same. Instinct is something we’re born with. Emotion is layered—shaped by our thoughts, upbringing, and culture.

Emotional Parents Are Talented and Affectionate, But…

As a parent of an adult daughter myself, I know we feel a swirl of emotions—love, joy, frustration, even anger. If you are the type to react instinctively, it can sometimes feel like a storm of feelings without a clear anchor. Such excellent intuitive parents usually show deep affection, but it’s worth asking: Are my emotions truly serving my child—and myself?

Because I wasn’t a naturally proactive parent, and I have mild ADHD, I often lacked instinctive responses. It wasn’t convenient, but surprisingly, it protected me from becoming too emotional. In many ways, I felt like a “hired” parent—doing the job, but missing that inner compass. I don’t think that’s ideal, unlike talented parents with abundant instincts. But this distance gave me a unique perspective.

A Bronze Sculpture Can Shift Everything

As you continue on your parenting journey, I invite you to take a quiet moment now and then. Notice your emotions. Ask yourself—Is this response coming from instinct, or from emotion? Is it helping me feel more connected? Is it helping my child thrive?

A Japanese singer and actor Akihiro Miwa once said,

“The reason for our worries is emotion.”

He suggested we lean on thoughts—not just feelings—when facing problems, because thoughts can guide us more directly to solutions.

So next time you feel overwhelmed, try pausing. Imagine you’re The Thinker (by Auguste Rodin). It doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re choosing to be happier. Parenting is always a delicate balance of instinct and emotion. With just a little awareness, we can begin to choose the responses that truly serve our children—and ourselves.