Type A Parent Meets Type Zzz : Parenting Isn’t a Performance

Personality Type in Parenting

Do you enjoy categorizing personalities—like Type A? As the mother of an adult daughter, I’ve come to believe that parents can also be loosely divided into two types: those who thrive on the animalistic instincts of parenting, and those who approach it with a more reflective, humane mindset.

Animalistic vs. Humane?

Type one parents often immerse themselves fully in the primal rhythm of childcare. They embrace the chaos, the sleepless nights, and the relentless demands of being a caregiver. In contrast, type two parents—like myself—struggle more with the physical aspects. Rather than finding joy in instinctive caregiving, I longed to be the “perfect mom,” following trusted baby-care information to the letter. I anxiously tracked weight gain and sleeping hours, demanding measurable outcomes, as if parenting were a work project.

I often resented the purely physical nature of breastfeeding, especially without a job outside of motherhood. It felt like I had lost my identity, and this inner conflict left me emotionally drained.

Still, despite the exhaustion of round-the-clock newborn care, I made a conscious effort to nourish my own mind. I carved out small moments to read—not light essays or fiction, but academic and professional books on topics like science and economics. Reading made me feel human again.

Every Type of Parent Is Privileged

Reading helped me escape, just for a while, and regain the strength I needed for my daughter. But recently, I came across a poem from New Zealand—author unknown—that shifted my perspective. It’s titled Today, and it made me reflect on those early parenting years, when I did perfect housework, with mixed feelings.

It begins:

Today, I left some dishes dirty…

And ends:

What did I do this whole day through?

Not much that shows, I guess it’s true.

Unless you think that what I’ve done

Might be important to someone

With bright blue eyes, and soft blonde hair.

If that is true… I’ve done my share.

This simple poem beautifully captures the essence of motherhood. It says that presence—just being there—is more powerful than perfection.

We must remember that baby care is only one chapter in a long life. And while advice from books, experts, or even fellow parents may conflict, what truly matters is learning to trust our own hearts. Whether you’re a Type One or Type Two parent, your journey is valid and deeply meaningful.

Parenting is a privilege, not a performance. Celebrate your path, and be proud of the love you gave in your own way.