The Magic Hands of Effective Encouragement : A Confucian Tip for Educational Success

The Competitive Landscape of Education in Japan

In Japan, the entrance exam system is often referred to as the "exam war," highlighting its intense competitiveness. Parents and children alike face significant pressure, starting from a tender age of eight, to secure a future that guarantees stability and success. Graduation from a prestigious university is often seen as a passport to a secure life, making the academic journey crucial for many families.

Lessons from Mrs. K: Finding the Right Approach

One insightful tip that I learned from my friend Mrs. K, whose youngest son was a classmate of my daughter, revolves around the balance of encouragement and freedom. Mrs. K reflected on her parenting journey and shared that she was overly strict with her oldest child when it came to studies. This pressure ultimately backfired, leading to a dislike for studying that persisted into later years.

In a twist of fate, she decided to take a different approach with her second son. By giving him the freedom to use his time as he wished, she hoped to foster a love for learning. Unfortunately, this led to his struggles in higher education. It wasn't until they reached their youngest son that Mrs. K truly grasped the importance of encouragement coupled with freedom. With a gentle yet motivating push, her youngest son excelled in his studies and successfully gained admission into a highly esteemed university.

The Doctrine of 中庸: The Concept of Moderation

This idea of balance can be encapsulated in the Confucian principle of 中庸, which means moderation. The philosophy emphasizes that success lies not in extremes but rather in finding a harmonious middle ground. Whether it's in academics or in life, too much pressure can stifle a child's innate curiosity and love for learning, while too little can lead to missed opportunities.

Mrs. K's journey, and her reflections, serve as a vital lesson for parents navigating the challenging landscape of education.

To me, her story was a heads-up. I was about to not encourage my daughter to study, because my mother forced me to study when I was a child and I didn’t like it. So Mrs. K’s lesson has not only inspired my approach but has also contributed to my daughter's success, mirroring the positive results seen with Mrs. K’s youngest son.

In the competitive educational climate, it's easy to forget the power of balance. Striving for excellence while allowing space for personal growth creates a nurturing environment where children can thrive. The journey of education is not just about grades, but about fostering a lifelong love for learning. As parents, let us remember the wisdom shared by Mrs. K and the profound impact it can have on our futures.