A Trophy of Motherhood : Psychology’s Take on Parental Depression

Mothers Can Have Two Selves

Feeling depressed—even though becoming a mother is supposed to be a transformative, joyful experience? As soon as you give birth, society assigns you a new role: “mother.” It often feels like an entirely new personality, separate from the one you had before.

Many women experience a shift, wondering, “Where is the person I used to be?” or “What happened to my own goals and dreams?” These questions can quietly grow into feelings of depression.

Looking back, I realize I was often depressed throughout my parenting journey. And now, I understand why: my former self was struggling to make sense of this complex, dual identity.

Psychology That Explains the Depth of Your Emotions

Psychologists, including the renowned Dr. Lisa Miller, suggest that “depression is a hunger for spiritual awakening.” This academic perspective, which gained attention just a couple of years ago, invites us to view depression not only as a negative experience, but also as a potential gateway to a new stage of life.

Similarly, former NFL star Jim Kelly once described feeling “depressed” as entering a state of “deep rest.”

These insights offer a comforting shift in perspective: perhaps the emotions many mothers experience are not signs of weakness, but natural responses to the immense responsibility they carry.

Your Shadows Are Proof of the Light

The weight of parenting can feel overwhelming at times. But if you feel low or depressed because of that burden, it’s actually a testament to how seriously you take your role. It means you’re a responsible and devoted parent—and that’s something to be proud of.

Recognizing this is the first step toward healing. Rather than being consumed by guilt or worry, focus on the task at hand. Your child will return your care with love and joy—both of which are essential fuels for your journey.

To navigate these feelings, make space for self-reflection and self-care. Whether it’s returning to a hobby, practicing mindfulness, or simply seeking support from others, every step helps.

In my case, I gradually built my foundational skills as a composer and pianist while raising my daughter—skills that have become the core of my current career.

I truly believe that these intense emotions won’t define you forever. In fact, recent psychology assures us that they can lead to a deeper sense of purpose and spiritual clarity.

So if you’re feeling depressed, take heart: it may be a natural part of motherhood. Embrace your emotions as a symbol of your discipline, and give yourself the space to explore what they’re trying to show you. By caring for both your child and your own wellbeing, you will eventually find the light you need to continue shining.