New Normal of Happiness: Can Success and Satisfaction Coexist?

If You’re Not Satisfied with Your Childhood

Many of us have encountered the term 'adult child,' which describes individuals who, despite their age, grapple with emotional and developmental hurdles stemming from dysfunctional childhoods. This phenomenon can lead to a perpetual state of dissatisfaction, as highlighted by Japanese sociologist Taizo Kato, who once was a researcher at Harvard University. He argues that for these individuals, success feels elusive, as they find themselves continually seeking more.

The Pursuit of Success vs. the Quest for Happiness

Kato's perspective invites us to explore a significant question: Are success and happiness inversely proportional? As adults who have experienced these challenges, the pressure to achieve can sometimes overshadow the simple joys of life. This relentless pursuit of success often leads to a cycle of disappointment, where achievements do not equate to true fulfillment. It is crucial to question what success means to us and how it aligns with our happiness.

Redefining Happiness Through Parenting

Reflecting on my own experiences, I realize that becoming a parent shifted my view on success. As a former adult child, I once felt this insatiable urge to achieve more, often feeling empty after reaching milestones. However, when I started parenting, I found an opportunity to reevaluate my definitions . Raising my daughter taught me that she is not an extension of my ambitions. It’s far more difficult to control another person than it is to practice self-control. Instead, she offers me a fresh perspective on joy and contentment.

This shift helped me understand that demanding more from my child, as I had been taught, might not be the healthiest approach. Instead, it was essential to esteem her individuality and recognize her unique path. Each child's journey builds a lesson about appreciating what we have rather than yearning for what we lack. Although the scars of being an adult child remain, parenting ultimately offers a chance to escape the cycle of dissatisfaction.

Parenting encourages us to ask ourselves: What truly brings me joy? How can I cultivate happiness in my daily life without measuring it against my accomplishments? Kato says we’re never disappointed when we do things that bring us joy, regardless of the outcome.

Honestly, parenting wasn’t always my favorite. But it certainly brought me joy—maybe not every day, but enough. And now, my daughter, grown and thriving, continues to be the greatest source of my bliss.

In short, while the quest for success may seem intertwined with the desire for happiness, it is possible to shift our focus. By embracing the parenting experiences and reflecting on what we value, we can redefine our understanding of both success and happiness. This journey offers a path to achieving not just more success, but a deeper sense of joy.