Leveling Up: The Parent’s Joyful Role For a Bright Future

Your Level is Now Higher

Being a parent is a lot like leveling up in a video game. What worked before doesn’t always work as well at this stage. For example, self-help tips and popular spiritual coaches often tell us to visualize our ideal future to achieve our goals. That works great for personal growth because you can freely choose the future you want.

But when it comes to parenting, it’s different. You can’t shape your child into your ideal mold of them—they’re their own person, no matter how young they are.

Fostering a Joyful Future

Rather than fixating on visualization techniques that offer a one-size-fits-all approach, it might be more beneficial for parents to focus on nurturing a positive environment and encouraging their child's happiness.

For example, I recall when my daughter was 12. Honestly, I struggled to find meaning in raising a daughter because I had dreamed of having a baby boy. So, I decided to learn how to dress in a kimono, hoping to one day dress my daughter in a traditional kimono for her coming-of-age day—a significant milestone in Japanese culture and a national holiday that marks the transition into adulthood at 20. Instead of greedily wishing for her to grow into a lovely adult, my focus shifted toward creating joyful experiences that would fuel her excitement for the future. This anticipation often becomes one of the joys of parenting that we tend to overlook in the chaos of daily life.

Leveling Up Together Through Anticipation

As parents, the act of anticipating our children's futures can naturally encourage personal growth without placing undue pressure on them. There’s immense satisfaction in knowing you've helped equip them with the courage and support needed to navigate life's challenges. Instead of focusing on a fixed outcome, try embracing the joy of celebrating your child’s achievements—no matter how small. It may be harder than just picturing your own ideal future, but you’ve leveled up now, and you’ve got this!

In Japan, there’s a proverb: ‘慌てる乞食は貰いが少ない,’ which translates to ‘A beggar who’s in a hurry gets less.’ Its meaning is similar to the proverb ‘Hang sorrow, cast away care.’

By the way, my daughter has grown into a much more beautiful young adult than I had vaguely imagined—and she got into the university of our dreams.

Please remember, while it might be tempting to project our ideals onto our children, the truth is that they thrive best when we empower them with love, support, and autonomy. By focusing on our children’s happiness and well-being, we help them level up in ways that truly matter. And of course, we level up along the way too!