Let Them Fly: Divine Parenting Beyond the Past

Are You Carrying Your Parents’ Negative Legacy?

The cycle of parenting often reveals how the values and beliefs of previous generations shape our approach to raising children. People often say we can only raise children the way we were raised—but let me ask you this: would you recommend a restaurant to your close friends if the food and prices were disappointing? Probably not. In the same way, as parents, we need to be mindful not to pass on emotional baggage—like neglect or harshness—that we may have inherited from our own upbringing. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward creating a successful environment for the next generation.

Inherited Limits from Our Parents

Reflecting on my journey, I often think of my father’s dream of becoming a conductor. He was a talented student, known for leading his university’s wind orchestra with passion and skill. I once heard that a photo of his performance was even featured in a well-known magazine at the time. But despite his promise, my grandmother’s disapproval of his ambitions left that dream unfulfilled. Consequently, he imposed his own fears on me, denying my desire to attend music school. This resulted in a hard-fought battle to carve out my path as a composer, often facing the stigma associated with pursuing a career in music.

The Lucky Gift of Resilience and Freedom

Failure is not merely an endpoint; it's a learning opportunity for next step. The lessons I learned from my father's rejection pushed me to find awesome job opportunities. I understand his hesitations, as success in the music industry is indeed rare. However, I believe that family support should not depend on success. In my experience, almost every musician with a shining career, from Mozart to my colleagues, has had significant financial and emotional support from their family.

With this understanding, I was committed to raising my daughter with a different perspective. I encouraged her to freely explore her own interests. Of course, I still expected her to maintain good academic performance—because discipline is essential for achieving anything in life. By supporting her in choosing a career she truly loved—even if it had been something like dance—I hoped to nurture the independence and resilience I had once longed for myself. Somehow, she chose to challenge herself by aiming for a top-ranking university. Her graduation from a prestigious school eventually led her to a career where she now plans future projects at world-renowned firms. It all reminds me how important it is to create an atmosphere where children feel empowered to take risks and follow their passions—without fear of judgment or rejection.

Letting Go of Fear, Unlocking True Potential

My father finally became a well-loved amateur conductor with a professional orchestra in his fifties, all while working as a managing director at a firm. I believe life gave him that chance because he had always supported my grandmother and our family with quiet dedication.

I don’t hold anything against my father. When I was in my thirties, he apologized to me for everything, and that moment meant a lot. But I’ll never forget one day in my twenties—after performing in a New Year’s Eve concert, I visited his home, and he kicked me out. I think he might have felt hurt, maybe even jealous, of my music career.

That memory stays with me, not out of anger, but as a lesson. I truly hope no parent ever treats their child with such coldness. Every child is different. Their dreams, passions, and timing are not ours to control. Instead of building walls with our expectations, we have the chance to build bridges with understanding and love.

Now, when I see my daughter enjoying her career, I feel a quiet certainty: A child raised with the freedom to choose their path is far more likely to discover real happiness and fulfillment in what they do.

As parents, it’s critical to break the cycle of fear and limitation. Let’s prioritize resilience and freedom, fostering a new generation that dares to dream without the burdens of the past. Our children deserve the opportunity to choose their own paths, and by doing so, we empower them to become their best selves.