How to Overturn the Challenges of Being a Mom : Despised Parenting in Japan

The Surprising Nickname of a Working Mom in Japan

In Japan, the term “子持ち様” (komochi-sama), which translates to 'your highness with child', reflects the cultural nuances surrounding working moms. This phrase, while polite, carries an undercurrent of rudeness. The expectation placed upon working mothers can feel burdensome as society often views them as less efficient or as a burden within the workplace. This perception complicates their roles, making the journey of parenthood even more challenging.

Comparing Parenting Experiences: Tokyo vs. New York City

Living in Tokyo as a mom can feel isolating compared to cities like New York City, where I have found a more supportive environment for parents. In NYC, there's a distinct sense of compassion. I often see people are helping parents with strollers at the station. Many of my friends told that they never felt inconvenience about the stairs in the city, because someone would surely help carrying strollers.

In contrast, Tokyo can feel cold and unwelcoming, with judgment often lurking just beneath the surface. No one helped me with my stroller or my task while parenting. The differing social situations really impact how parents experience their life and responsibilities and can greatly influence their sense of community.

How to Overturn Adversity

While the challenges of being a working mom in Japan can be overwhelming, my journey has taught me valuable lessons. Each moment of criticism, whether directed at my capabilities as a worker or my efficiency as a mom, has sparked a fire within me that asserts: “I deserve more!” Such moments, though difficult to endure, have reinforced my self-esteem and propelled my passion for both work and parenting. You could recognize that adversity can serve as a catalyst for personal growth. Eventually, I believe these experiences have, in part, contributed to my daughter’s successes, allowing me to have resilience in guiding her with all of my power.

The Shining Journey Anywhere

Regardless of where you live, the journey of raising a child brings its unique challenges. Even if the parental environment around you feels unwelcoming, it is possible to find meaning and learning in every experience. Navigating the world as a mom, particularly in challenging settings, creates opportunities to develop fortitude and assertiveness.

In short, while being a mom comes with its unique set of cultural challenges, it also provides gifts of strength and empowerment. The burden is light. You deserve more. By focusing on self-worth and adopting a shining mindset, we can create a more fulfilling life for ourselves and our children. Cheer up!