How to Become a Good Cook Effortlessly : Parental ‘Flow’ State

‘Effortless State’ in The Kitchen

A "flow state," often referred to as being "in the zone," is an exhilarating experience marked by intense focus and a sense of absorption. Within this state, time seems to vanish, and actions feel effortless, as if one is in perfect control. However, for many parents, achieving a flow state at home can be particularly challenging. Amidst the demands of parenting, many of us overlook the significance of relaxing into this state of being, especially when we step into the kitchen.

The Pitfalls of Parenting

As parents, we often try to do everything excellently. Between school runs and after-school activities, it’s easy to prioritize tasks over the joy of cooking. I often find myself stressed about preparing delicious meals for my married daughter, driven by the need to be an efficient mom rather than embracing the moment. This pressure makes it difficult to connect with the flow state that will allow me to create delightful dishes filled with love.

Finding Joy in Cooking

Cooking is not merely a chore; it can be an incredible opportunity to bond with our children and create cherished memories. Even if I can’t recall the exact taste of my mother’s dishes, the feelings connected to those meals remain vivid in my memory. I remember leaving her house feeling recharged after enjoying her cooking. Whenever I was close to giving up, I couldn’t wait to dive back into my challenges again. It was always about love and intention, not just the ingredients.

To truly experience the benefits of the flow state, we need to let go of rigid expectations and approach cooking with a more relaxed and open heart. It’s not about being a perfect parent or creating flawless meals. It’s about enjoying the moment—chatting with our kids while stirring a pot, or inviting them to join us in the kitchen. These small, shared experiences create a warm, engaging environment where everyone feels connected. And in that space, we don’t just become better cooks—we grow into the most present and fulfilled versions of ourselves.

Let’s remember: entering the flow state through cooking isn’t just a path to nurturing our children—it’s also a gift to ourselves. It helps us tap into our creativity, deepen our relationships, and truly savor the journey of both parenthood and personal growth.