From Cake to Cram School: What Happens When Guilt Enters the Game?

The Psychology of Eating

Recent surveys conducted in New Zealand reveal a concerning trend: many people believe that simply thinking "this will make me gain weight" while eating can influence their outcomes.

It was an experiment at the University of Canterbury. 300 people between the ages of 18 and 86 were asked to eat chocolate cake as a snack. They looked into the relationship between the guilt felt after eating and calorie consumption. A year and a half later, those who felt guilty tended to gain weight compared to those who didn't. This notion raises important questions about the psychology behind our eating habits. In a culture that promotes healthy eating, the mental implications of guilt can drastically alter our relationship with food.

Guilt and Joy: A Japanese Perspective

In Japan, the emphasis on a slim physique leads to a different yet related sentiment. People often experience guilt when indulging in food. Phrases like “you can eat this without guilt” are frequently heard, especially when recommending healthier options. The societal pressures in Japan contribute to a unique dynamic where enjoying food is often overshadowed by the fear of gaining weight. This cultural context highlights how guilt can overshadow the joy and benefits of eating, leading to negative eating experiences.

Parental Guilt: A Double-Edged Sword

As parents, we often face the challenge of guiding our children toward productive habits, which sometimes involves using guilt as a tool. For instance, many parents express guilt-related phrases to discourage excessive gaming in favor of studying. The intent may be to foster responsibility, yet this tactic can backfire. Just as with our eating habits, using guilt to guide children doesn’t always lead to positive results. For instance, if a child hears too often that games or skateboarding are a waste of time, they might start to believe, “If I enjoy this, I must be stupid.” This kind of internalized guilt can create counterproductive results, damaging their self-esteem and motivation rather than encouraging better choices.

My mother always forced me to study. Her face often looked angry or sorrowful, which made me feel guilty. As a result, I grew uncomfortable and came to dislike studying altogether. So when it came to my own daughter, I took the opposite approach: I never encouraged her to study.

Although she didn’t enjoy studying when she was young, her final academic achievements made me proud. I can’t say whether every child will naturally take to studying as she eventually did. But I do believe that a fulfilling childhood should include a sense of autonomy—rather than being shaped entirely by supervision and pressure.

In Japan, we say Yoku manabi, yoku asobe—“Study hard, play hard.” It means that after playing freely, children can refocus and study even better. This balance will not only help them prioritize but also encourage them to enjoy activities without the shadow of guilt.

Ultimately, guilt—whether around food or activities—can undermine our ability to make healthy, fulfilling choices. We can benefit from creating environments where people engage positively with what they eat and how they spend their time.

Both the New Zealand and Japanese perspectives offer valuable insight into how guilt shapes behavior. By rethinking our relationship with food and leisure, we can move toward a more balanced, guilt-free life—and a brighter future.