Bummer! The Fear of Success in Parenting : Why Not Giving Your Children the Best?

PAR-M-ENTAL HEALTH

2/25/20252 min read

smiling man holding cup and using smartphone
smiling man holding cup and using smartphone

Understanding the Fear of Success

In 1985, Curtis and Mason introduced the notion of the fear of success theory, which highlights an unusual mentality that can sometimes keep individuals from reaching their full potential. This concept can be unexpectedly relatable, even at a young age. For instance, as a child, I went apple picking on a school trip. As I inspected the many apples, I picked a small one, prompting my mother to wonder why I didn't choose a larger, better-looking fruit. This experience stuck with me, reflecting how we often settle for less than we deserve.

Children Deserve “Too good to be true”

Every parent wants their children to have the best life possible; this intention should include offering them the kind of home, education, and nutrition that they deserve. However, the fear that accompanies striving for success or offering the best can hold parents back. The dilemma lies in feeling that not every choice can be perfect, leading some to purposely opt for mediocrity. While it can sometimes benefit individuals in their lives, applying this mindset to parenting can be detrimental.

Facing the Challenges of Today's Economy

In today's tough economic environment, it is crucial to confront the fear of success head-on. Families are often stretched financially, making it tempting to choose less than what they truly desire for their children. While budget constraints can indeed limit our options, it is essential to prioritize what truly matters. Children should not be made to feel that they are getting second-best in life due to their parent's fears or reservations.

I myself invested in my daughter’s education, forgetting about reserving my earnings for my retired life. Eventually she got in to her dream university and got a dream job. This fact has made me happier than any savings.

It's important to recognize that demonstrating success is not about the destination but about creating an environment conducive to growth. This can range from ensuring that they receive quality education to offering healthy meals. By being intentional with our choices, we help normalize the pursuit of excellence and teach children that aiming for greatness is not something to shy away from.

Moreover, parents should consider sharing their successes, however small, with their children. By discussing personal achievements, struggles, and the courage it takes to reach for one's goals, we impart valuable life lessons that can inspire future generations. When children witness their parents pursuing goals and overcoming obstacles, they learn that striving for the best is not only acceptable but commendable.

Ultimately, it’s up to us as parents to combat the fear of success. Your children deserve the best life has to offer, and it starts with you. Break free from the limitations imposed by past experiences and choose to provide a life that nurtures success, potential, and happiness.