Before You Inhale: Japanese Breathing Technique Every Parent Should Know

We’re All Beginners of Parenthood

Parenthood can be a daunting journey, especially when our children are preparing for significant milestones. As parents, we often grapple with self-doubt, questioning our ability to support our kids through their challenges. This uncertainty can inadvertently affect our children, making them anxious and less focused on their tasks. When we exhibit doubt about their capabilities, they may internalize this fear, which can hinder their performance, particularly during stressful periods like exams.

A Powerful Japanese Breathing Technique

One enlightening technique I discovered comes from Japanese Kyogen performer Senzaburo Shigeyama, who is a commentator on KBS TV Kyoto, a Living National Treasure, made his debut on stage at the age of three. He has also given many performances overseas. He emphasized the importance of breath in achieving calmness and confidence. The technique is simple yet incredibly effective: exhale before you inhale.

This exhale practice helps stabilize the mind and boost confidence by directing your focus to the tanden—the qi energy center located just below the navel.

In Japanese, we say “肝が座る” (literally, “my digestive system settles”), which means to fully ground yourself and make up your mind.

When you’re 100% confident in yourself and your child’s path, you’re able to support them with your full presence and potential. Exhaling first allows us to release tension and negative thoughts, clearing the way for a more focused and confident mindset. This method can be especially beneficial when your child is waiting for exam results or preparing for important assessments.

My Eye-Opening Experience

During my daughter’s junior-high entrance exam journey, I spent over an hour each night studying in advance so I could teach her the next day—often staying up until midnight. Despite my efforts, I found myself increasingly worried, to the point where I was hesitant about her commitment. In moments of frustration, I voiced my concerns to my mother, who advised me to “believe in her more.” This simple yet profound suggestion opened my eyes to a crucial truth—I had been unconsciously doubting her ethics.

Upon reflecting on my mother’s words, I realized that I needed to shift my mindset from skepticism to belief in my daughter’s passion and potential. I made a significant change not only in my own attitude but also in my daughter’s confidence. Eventually, she was accepted into a private school that turned out to be a perfect fit for her—undoubtedly the best, even though it hadn’t been her first choice.

Everyone Needs Trust Over Doubt

Imagine you’re preparing for an important qualification exam. You’re doing your best, driven by the desire to succeed. Because it’s competitive, some may worry your efforts could be in vain. Even if you’re mostly confident, sometimes all it takes is one person who truly believes you can do it. I hope you can be that person for your child.

Please remember, your confidence can deeply influence your child’s attitude during critical times. So, the next time you feel doubt creeping in, take a breath—exhale first, then inhale, ground yourself, and trust in your child. With belief as our guiding principle, we can navigate the path of parenthood with greater ease and assurance.